Performance

Painting my body red, white and blue

Peruvian lilies bloom on my arms.

I believed in god from inside the zoo,

eyes twisting, legs winking—

stories written on my face.

I lay among the bones scattered on the floor

begging mother to scrub the stain off me.

But each night, light fills my body

His soft fingers washing the color off me, picking up my scattered bones off the floor

And i swore with my life, 

I would keep this secret religion safe with me.

Daylight creeps in and again,

The metal rots on my twisted finger

Chains of my life choke my mouth

eyes bleed forgiveness for these my sins —

I believed in god for only an eternity. 

Betraying the true creed of love i had held in me

I took the buckets of dye, 

wax teaching my skin how to scream.

Dancing in circles before the mirror,

“Forgive me, my lord” i whisper.  

Which salvation, i holler

Each one bleeds me just the same. 

The smoke from the altar fills my throat 

They know, they know, they know, 

The choir sings their songs, 

eyes following me.

I tried, i scream- 

laughter plays as they drag me away.

So i search for your gentle eyes, the only 

Salvation i could have 

Crawling on my knees to you, whispering words of worship

Hollering I beg, do you not know we bleed the same?

But your eyes turn away from mine, 

Why would you trust me, Judas the betrayer 

But, then, who can I worship? 

Sophie Hanna Phillip